A situationship is a romantic relationship that is undefined, non-committal, non-exclusive and is notoriously known for being inconsistent. It is the arrangement that exists prior to having the “what are we” discussion or when the “define the relationship” talk has been postponed indefinitely . 

A situationship can be a fun, sexually satisfying avenue for self-discovery. On the flipside they have the potential to make you feel trapped in a never ending cycle of toxicity and flings.

Here are some signs to look out for when evaluating the situation:

1. There are no labels

This could be because you’re still in the beginning stages, or an intentional choice to keep things casual, or because someone is avoiding commitment. Whatever the reason, exclusivity has not been discussed.

2. Plans are last minute and short-term

Keeping to the non-committal theme, you can usually tell you are in a situationship when plans are not made super in advance and there is little talk, if any, of the future (of this ‘not-relationship’).

3. Things are inconsistent 

Whether this be initiating plans, communication or even emotions involved. For a while it could feel like you haven’t done anything but talk to or think about them, and the interest in them can go from an all time high to a low of being bored by the situation and frustrated by the lack of communication.

4. There are other people involved

If you and/or your partner are actively seeing other people, it’s as good a sign as any that this is a situationship and things are quite open.

5. There are avoidance tactics being used

There are many ways a person can show you they are non-committal. This could be through the same old, tired excuses, “Work is super busy”, “Things just aren’t lining up”, “I’m travelling this month” (even though their Instagram tells another story). Or more obviously if you’re being left hanging for days on end, you’re probably firmly in the situationship phase. 

6. Your emotions don’t lie

Situationships are notorious for not getting emotions involved, but that can get difficult when people aren’t on the same page. If the situationship is making you anxious rather than excited, bored rather than comfortable or you’re having fun but you’re just not that into it; lean in and figure out if this is something you want to take forward or do you want to just stick around for some more of the same. 

While they’re as important to our culture today as Taylor’s version, it can really mess with your mental health. Having gone through over a dozen situationships together as a team, we know how the help of a professional can really help! This is why we’re organising a webinar with a therapist who specialises in relationships. She will answer all your questions and share actionable insights so you can find the confidence to move forward.

‍Sign up for the webinar (3rd Sept. 2023)