Ever wondered who these toxic men are that these feminists keep hating on, when you and your boys are literally the nicest guys you have ever met? Well, it is not so difficult to spot one. Toxic men is a subspecies of men frequently found all across the world. What sets them apart from the rest of the crowd is their overbearing need to adhere to the norms and rules of a society that is no longer functioning, and to compulsively force everyone around them to do the same. Any deviance from their notion of what is normal and acceptable could cause great physical, mental and emotional harm to people around them. You must know at least one of these toxic men in your life because of how commonly they are found, but here is how you can find out if you are a toxic male or not -

Fierce propagators of the “Not all men” hashtag

‍Toxic men find it absolutely bizarre that women would use their voice (that they have lent them so generously) to generalize all men in the world and call them out on their toxic masculinity. They tend to intentionally misinterpret the entire movement by assuming that women see all men as abusers, molesters or even rapists. They very consciously deny that all men (yes all of them, even you, and your best friend, and your father, and my father too) are potential threats to women all around the world, and this isn’t a made up condescending idea, it’s a fact. If 9 out of 10 men hurt women in one way or the other, and 1 out of 10 sits there and does nothing, he might as well not be there because he isn’t making a difference. 

Constantly feel threatened by false allegations

‍False allegations have ruined the lives of so many men, can you believe it? Well, according to a survey done by the Crown Prosecution Service around the United Kingdom, the ratio of the number of false allegations to the number of cases reported is 1:161, which means 160 of them are against real rapists. This becomes even more scary when we realize that 99 percent of the rape cases are not even reported, which means the number of lives ruined by false allegations is not even 0.0001 percent of the number of lives we lose, either physically or metaphorically, to rape every year. False allegations are an absolute threat to the credibility of the hundreds of women who are abused, but that’s not why toxic men find it alarming. 

Present strong arguments like “Men get raped too”

‍Men get raped too. Women get raped too. Kids get raped. Disabled people get raped. A lot of them by men, yes, but at least we have finally acknowledged that rape isn’t a myth, it’s real and so are the people who are perpetually ruined by it. Toxic men tend to believe that any resistance against the rapist (who in about 99 percent cases is a man) is resistance against men, and that’s when they find it absolutely necessary to let the world know that men get raped too. No, toxic men do not do anything about that problem, they just like to remind the world that there is one. Here, the problem is rape, a crime that could have no justification, and as an extension, the rapist. 

Firmly believe in the magic of heteronormativity

‍A marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman. Sex is supposed to be between a man and a woman, or else how will the world continue existing. Toxic men want the world to have future generations, they want to leave behind the legacy of an unsafe, polluted, capitalist society that benefits only the richest of the rich. These men have no concept of sex outside of reproduction, and yet they are the ones that propagate rape culture which ironically is not for reproduction. You could be a toxic male also if you pretend to be an ally to the queer community but just would never want it for yourself or your kids, or anyone you know. These are men who usually also believe that the A in the LGBTQIA+ community stands for ally. 

Believe that Martial Arts are necessary for women

‍Yes, rapes happen. Yes, women get catcalled. Yes, they are groped. That is exactly why these men want to be the change they wish to see around the world. They want to make women physically so strong that no one could hurt them, and the way to go for this is martial arts. That makes sense, women get raped not because the rapist consciously chose to violate her body and her rights, but because she is weak and fragile. These men also believe that men have sexual urges that they can’t control, that if women would just stop dressing provocatively, men would never rape them, and that’s exactly why they are the part of the problem. When children as young as 1 year old are getting raped, how do you find in yourself the audacity to ask the victim to have dressed better, or been stronger, or not gone out at night. 

If you could relate to even one of those, we have news for you, and not the kind that would make you happy. We know this must anger you, but remember to not take it out on people around you. We know it’s a pattern, and we know it can stop. You, as a man, must take charge and unlearn the toxic masculinity that you have unconsciously grown to make your entire personality.