The word ‘therapy’ has recently found its way into our vocabulary. From social media to our inner circles, more people are openly talking about seeking help for those feelings of restlessness, sadness, and irritability they can’t quite understand the root of. ‘I’m seeing a therapist’ doesn’t invite as much judgement now, and we’re here for it. 

But taking the step towards therapy can be overwhelming.

Most often, we find ourselves asking how to go about seeking therapy. What does it mean? Where should I start? What should I keep in mind before I start this process? To take some of your doubts away, we’re here with a short and sweet guide on what you can expect in therapy. 

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First off, what is therapy?

For those who sort-of-know but don’t-fully-understand, therapy (or talk therapy or psychotherapy) is a treatment aimed at alleviating emotional distress and mental health problems. It involves gaining insight into one’s difficulties and providing ways to improve that aspect of their life. A trained professional – a psychiatrist, psychologist, licensed counsellor, or social worker will hold regular sessions with you and try to understand the root causes of your problems, giving you the tools, you may need to cope.

Whether it’s that feeling of constant and prolonged stress and anxiety, the feeling of hopelessness and despair that you can’t seem to shake off, or irritability over the smallest of things, therapy aims to understand what’s causing it and how you can deal with it.

How do I know if I need therapy?

Well, if you’ve clicked on this article, it’s safe to assume you’ve thought about seeking therapy. If you think you need it, go for it! 

Often, we assume that therapy is meant only for those who suffer from mental illness. But that is far from the truth. Stress and trauma affect most of us, and sometimes in ways we can’t understand. It can manifest itself in physical pain, the feeling of burnout, and much more. Even a mentally healthy person can seek therapy, as there’s nothing wrong in wanting to be a better version of yourself. Don’t wait till you desperately need it to seek it.

Now that you know what therapy is, here’s what you need to know before you dive in.

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Things no one tells you about starting therapy

You might need to do a trial run

Different people share their problems differently. While some might be comfortable talking about their issues with a therapist, some are unable to do it. But there’s a solution for that too. If talk therapy isn’t your jam, you can consider expressive arts therapy. This uses creative arts (music, painting, dance) to delve deeper into your psyche, so you don’t necessarily have to articulate how you're feeling through words. You might need to try out both forms to see what you’re most comfortable with.

You may not find the right fit on the first go

Therapy is a lot like dating: you may need to kiss a few frogs before you find your match. Many people who take their first therapy session often come back with the feeling that therapy ‘isn’t for them’, but that usually means that the therapist may not have been right for them. One of the most unglamorous things about therapy is that every therapist has their own approach – you might have to go to a couple before you find the one that works for you.

That said, a good therapist

• Listens before responding
• Asks follow-up questions
• Doesn’t pass comments or make judgements about your experience
• Doesn’t give you the answers, but leads you to find them yourself

So, keep these in mind before you evaluate.

You will need to carve out a budget for it 

The tricky part about seeking therapy is that it can put a dent in your wallet. Unfortunately, India has a dearth of good mental health professionals – they are hard to find and harder to meet. But don’t let this deter you. As practical as it is to keep a budget for it, there are several online resources that provide good therapists at affordable rates. Do some research on affordable therapists in your area. You can even check if your existing health insurance covers psychotherapy so you can make the best use of it. Remember that therapy is an investment you will not regret. 

You won’t have all the answers in one sitting

Therapy is a bit of a long-term commitment, and the reason is simple: it takes time to unpack one’s mind and behaviour patterns. Don’t expect to have all the answers in one sitting; what you can look forward to is understanding your mind in a way that helps you unlearn habits you’ve developed over years. Give it time.‍

You may feel emotional after your sessions

One of the best things about therapy is that it helps you feel lighter once your session is over. You’ve shared your feelings and have probably had a fantastic breakthrough – the feeling is unparalleled. But sometimes, therapy sessions can be emotionally heavy. If you decide to share a particularly difficult experience or uncover something traumatic from your past, you might end up feeling less happy and more something else. Remember that this is all a part of the process – for every three steps forward, you may have to take one step back. The key is to keep at it and engage with your emotions as and when you feel them. 

You will have homework

Psychotherapy, in essence, is the process of you working on yourself. Hence, homework! Your therapist might give you an exercise to repeat everyday till the next session, or possibly note down some things they might reevaluate in the next session. All these exercises will help you understand yourself better, and there’s nothing more rewarding than that.‍

Therapy is hard work

Therapy has the power to really change how you see yourself and the situations you’ve been in. But in order to reap the benefits fully, you will have to put in the work. Whether it’s sharing your feelings honestly, holding nothing back, or doing your homework diligently, there are no shortcuts in therapy. But the rewards are incredible, which is why so many people swear by it.

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Therapy can sound daunting in the beginning, but once you’re past the initial phase, you will take to it like a fish does to water. There are many ways to express yourself in therapy, so if you’ve been putting it off, this is your sign to take that step and set up an appointment. 

We wish you all the luck and confidence to take that first step in prioritising your mental health.