Growing up, I used to cry as often as I changed my barbie’s clothes (and being a girly girl, it was OFTEN). At first I thought it was just a matter of growing up, that I would learn to let things roll off my back. Spoiler alert, that did not happen. As someone who has been at the receiving end of one too many “lighten up” advice speeches, I feel qualified to say - being sensitive gets a bad rep.
If we delve deeper, being sensitive just means feeling every feeling intensely. Neurologically, we are all born different. Each with our own tolerances and reactions to the external stimuli around us. But society finds a way to hone in a common message into all our heads. The message that emotions are not to be embraced but to be hidden and suppressed. We have witnessed this time and again, with female patients in the Victorian era being deemed “hysterical” despite the fact that they never received adequate medical care. With baby boomers labeling the younger generation “snowflakes” for taking offense at every little “joke”. And yet, we are still a society that values intelligence over empathy.
Sadly, more often than not, one’s sensitive nature is used against them to excuse people’s unacceptable behavior. How many times has a woman been called “too sensitive” or a “crazy bitch” for not taking a man’s shit? It is used as a go-to defense for people who have caused harm and wish to not take responsibility for their actions. Gaslighting at its purest form if you ask me. Another reason why being sensitive is considered synonymous to vulnerability is because it’s traditionally a feminine characteristic. And of course any trait that is feminine cannot be aspirational. The two most common ways we’ve seen people avoid dealing with their emotions are dismissal or repression. Safe to say, neither of these do any good for the long run. These inadequate ‘solutions’ lead to breakdowns, resentment, emotional numbing and straight up inability in handling your feelings.
Being sensitive means you are attuned with your senses, you see, hear and feel the world in HD. It's a privilege, not something to be tolerated but something to treasure, to nurture. Suppressing your natural inclination towards your feelings will not only keep you second guessing yourself at every step but also pull you further away from using your gift to the fullest. The one aspect that it impacts directly is your creativity. We’ve always seen artists, designers, musicians raving about big feelings. Feeling deeply is not a consequence of being creative but the cause. Accepting your sensitive tendencies help you not only understand yourself but also manage your reactions better. The hustle culture and the grind pushes us to toughen up, to stand tall when faced with challenges, and though that has become an important skill to obtain in today’s world, we cannot forgo our softer-selves. After all life is not to endure or power through, but something to absorb, to flow through.
References:
Psychologytoday | Time | YouTube