I am fast approaching my mid-twenties, and as silly as it sounds to admit, I am petrified. It feels like just yesterday when I was blowing out the candles on a cake that had 2 and 0 written in frosting. I had certain expectations for my 20s that are yet to be fulfilled. Expectations of these being my most productive yet most fun years, filled with huge and small experiences, just like the 20-something characters in those feel-good films.

The Pressure of the 20s

Upon talking to many of my friends who are also in their twenties, it is clear that this anxiety is not unique to me. Many people in their 20s, especially in the current financial and social climate, believe that they are not experiencing the messy yet glamorous years we were promised. Even though we can easily lay the blame on the COVID outbreak, the subsequent lockdown, and economic instability; was the romantic idea of the 20s ever really achievable? That dream job, the crazy adventures, the whirlwind romance - how did we as a society come to burden our 20s with every expectation under the sun? By the time we reach 30, are we really supposed to have an established career, a forever partner, and a strong sense of self? 

The Offerings Of the 30s and 40s

Apparently, in your 30s, you start to figure out what you want - not what your parents want for you, not what society expects, but what you genuinely want. And you learn that your worth isn’t tied to the number of parties you attend or however many ‘30 under 30’ awards you’ve achieved (really not the best move LinkedIn).

Our age brings us more than just wrinkles, it brings us wisdom and the ability to face life with lessons and skills our experiences have taught us. There are numerous women in their 30s and 40s coming up to speak about how at peace they are in their “older” age. As a woman in this society we are taught that one of our greatest values is our “youthful beauty”. It is no doubt a major factor in adding to the already long laundry list of fears we hold in our 20s. Must be liberating to let go of that to find comfort in your own skin. 

Modern Aging

While talking with women who are in their early 30s, I asked them if they had noticed any significant change in their lives, and most of them had not. As we keep progressing, women are able to have more control of their own lives. While most of them did anticipate their 30s will come with boring adulting, it has done quite the opposite. Their 30s have helped them recognise what they enjoy and with financial freedom and self assurance they are better able to go for those things. 

Every new decade of our life comes with its own adventures. It is unfair and frankly inaccurate to deem the 20s as our hottest years, both physically or psychologically. Those years come with confidence and conviction. It is not the age of our bones that define us, but our spirit. Maybe it’s time to bid adieu to our obsession with youth and focus on embracing all our years. And if you’re still chasing youthfulness, then making the best of everyday is your best bet because today is the youngest we’ll ever be. 

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References:

GoodTherapy | Unesco | TheDreamCatch | TheAtlantic

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