How many times has a boy told you that you were special because you were “not like other girls”? How many times did you realise that this was not necessarily a compliment? "You're not like other girls" is not a compliment because it perpetuates harmful stereotypes and undermines the diversity and individuality of women. It implies that being different from other girls is superior, suggesting that there is a standard mould that girls should fit into. This statement diminishes the experiences, interests, and accomplishments of other girls, dismissing their unique qualities. It creates an unnecessary division among women and fosters competition instead of solidarity. Instead, we should celebrate and uplift the diverse range of qualities and talents that all individuals, including women, possess, rather than diminishing them by comparing or contrasting them to others.
What do they mean when they say “you’re not like other girls”?
When someone says, "you're not like other girls," it often carries the implication that they see you as an exception to a negative stereotype they hold about girls or women in general. They may be suggesting that you possess qualities or behaviours that they find more appealing or admirable than what they perceive as typical female traits. However, it is essential to recognize that this statement reinforces gender stereotypes and fosters a sense of competition among women. It undermines the complexity of women's experiences, reinforcing the idea that there is a singular "correct" way for girls to be, which is both limiting and unfair.
It is unfortunate that girls feel the need to change themselves in order to be perceived as different or unique to gain a man's approval. This pressure stems from societal expectations and a desire to fit into predefined gender roles. To all the girls trying to fit into little boxes, it is so important to embrace your authenticity. You should not have to alter yourselves to fit an idealised version of what someone else desires. We have had multiple examples in media that encourage individuality, self-love, and the pursuit of relationships where women stop trying to conform to outdated expectations. Let’s all collectively aim at something like that instead!
What can you say instead of “you’re not like other girls”?
"You are incredibly intelligent."
Recognizing a woman's intelligence highlights her mental capabilities and the value of her thoughts and ideas.
"Your confidence is inspiring."
Complimenting a woman's confidence acknowledges her self-assurance and encourages her to continue embracing her strengths.
"You have a great sense of humour."
Appreciating a woman's humour recognizes her wit and ability to bring joy to others through laughter.
"Your kindness and empathy make a difference."
Recognizing a woman's kindness emphasises her compassion and the positive impact she has on those around her.
"You are a great leader."
Acknowledging a woman's leadership qualities reinforces her skills in guiding and inspiring others.
"Your creativity is impressive."
Complimenting a woman's creativity highlights her unique perspective and talents in artistic or innovative endeavours.
"You have a strong work ethic."
Recognizing a woman's dedication and perseverance emphasises her commitment to her goals and accomplishments.
"You are an excellent problem solver."
Complimenting a woman's problem-solving abilities showcases her analytical thinking and resourcefulness.
"You have a remarkable sense of style."
Appreciating a woman's fashion choices acknowledges her personal expression and attention to detail.
"You are an inspiring role model."
Recognizing a woman as a role model emphasises her positive influence and the example she sets for others.
Compliments given to women should celebrate aspects within their control, rather than solely focusing on their physical appearance. By acknowledging women's accomplishments, skills, and character traits, we empower them beyond their external beauty. Complimenting their intelligence, resilience, leadership, kindness, creativity, or problem-solving abilities cultivates a culture of recognizing their unique strengths and contributions. Shifting the emphasis away from looks promotes self-worth based on personal achievements and inner qualities. It encourages women to embrace their talents, ambitions, and the positive impact they make in various areas of life, fostering a more inclusive and empowering environment that values their diverse skills and capabilities.
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