What is the “Husband Stitch”?
While it is called the “husband” stitch, it has (ALMOST!) nothing to do with the husband. When a woman delivers a child vaginally, her perineum, which is the area between the vulva and the anus, tears apart. In order for it to heal, the gynaecologist stitches it back. However, a few men feel that delivering a child may loosen the vagina permanently, and it may affect sexual activities, which is why they request the doctors to add an extra stitch called the ‘husband stitch’ to enhance (the husband’s) sexual pleasure. Not only does that surpass what is medically unnecessary, but it also does not ensure pleasure for the women during sexual activities. In fact, it causes pain, which many women report is “much worse than labour” itself. The husband stitch is not defined medically, therefore there are not enough studies on this awful malpractice. Even though it is illegal or frowned upon in many places around the world, a few doctors do not hesitate from adding that extra stitch which could cause serious health issues in the female body. Many studies have shown that neither sexual function, nor satisfaction are impacted because of childbirth, be it Caesarean section or vaginal. According to Heather Rupe, an obstetrician, sexual pleasure relies on the underlying muscle tone of the pelvis, and not the tightness of the vagina. We are a part of a world where rape victims as young as 10 years old are denied abortion, but if the husbands request the doctor to put their wives through unethical (and potentially harmful, painful) procedures the world just collectively lets it slide.
The history of the Husband Stitch
The “husband stitch” is a consequence of episiotomies. This is a procedure that necessitates stitching the vagina after childbirth through the medical incision of the perineum. Episiotomies were performed on women owing to the false belief that it would result in better and faster healing after the delivery. This is when the medical professionals started adding an extra stitch to “tighten things up”. Only when a research study in the 1980s revealed that episiotomies were harmful to the health of women, cause severe tissue trauma and painful intercourse, did the doctors switch to alternative methods. However, even today almost 10% of women undergo episiotomies after childbirth.
The consequences of the Husband Stitch
The husband stitch not only raises questions about bodily autonomy, but it is also reportedly “much worse than labour”. In fact, it does not even bring the male partner any sexual pleasure which is why they request it in the first place. On the other hand, women who have the husband stitch have painful sex, and oftentimes their perineum tears back open because it could not heal properly. Apart from the unavoidable physical reasons, the practice is also morally wrong. The women are not in control of their own bodies, feel violated and are ignorant about why their body is in so much pain. Men often refuse to have vasectomies and to switch to male contraceptives because of the consequences, however, some men feel entitled enough to make decisions on behalf of their wives and put their wives’ lives on the line.
What can be done instead?
As we have established, the husband stitch does not ensure sexual pleasure and is unethical. However, when you resume sexual activities after the 6-week postpartum period, you could feel that your vaginal muscles are not as toned as they were before. In that case, pelvic floor exercises like kegels, or pelvic physical therapy are recommended. In the off chance that your muscles have not healed correctly, the stitches have torn apart, or there is an infection, a surgical procedure called perineoplasty can be opted for. Perineoplasty is the resewing of the perineal muscles, and not just the skin. This will ensure healthier and more pleasurable intercourse without physically damaging your body.
What some husbands need to realise is that two consensual adults are required for sex, and that implies that not one, but two people can and must experience pleasure. So, instead of making medical decisions for your partner that you do not fully understand the consequences of, give the new mother’s body the opportunity to heal naturally and permanently.
References:
https://blogs.webmd.com/womens-health/20180316/an-ob-weighs-in-on-the-husband-stitch
https://now.org/blog/the-objectification-of-womens-bodies-in-healthcare-the-husband-stitch/
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/husband-stitch-is-not-just-myth
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